I’ve never forgotten what he said.
In 1991, I interned at a nonprofit when an elderly woman approached me. As a staff, we had helped her with some details, and she wanted to show her gratitude by offering me $20.
I knew she didn’t have much to spare, so I politely refused. She insisted, but I pressed the bill back into her hands. With an embarrassed smile, she disappeared into the crowd.
I felt proud about my decision until my mentor appeared beside me. He had seen the entire exchange. Quietly, he pulled me aside and said, “I know what you were trying to do. But remember, sometimes you have to be a good receiver, not just a good giver.”
His wisdom has stuck with me for decades.
In declining her gift, I had unintentionally taken away her chance to give, to feel the dignity of generosity.
I think about that lesson often. The right words can echo for years.
This week, another line hit me hard. Actor Jason Alexander, referencing a concept in A Raisin in the Sun, described his wife this way:
“On my worst day, she remembers me on my best day and beckons me back.”
Sometimes the most generous thing you can do is accept what others need to give.