February 7, 2025: The Weasel Word(s)

A lot of my work requires proofreading.

Today was one of those days. And that included searching for what I call “weasels” in a manuscript, those sneaky pests that represent repeats or bad grammar or the misspells.

I’ve always been a pretty good speller. Even won my 6th-grade spelling bee and qualified against the big-shot 7th and 8th graders.

I was kicking butt in the competition until I made a rookie mistake. As a rule, you can’t stop and start over. And that’s what I did, on an easy one. Instant disqualification.

The word? “Gorilla.”

I stuttered when speaking the letters, saying “G-O-RR-I…” and then started again. But nope. A bell rang. Game over. My world championship dreams vanished, and I was stunned. No second chances.

When I returned to class, my friends asked, “What word did you miss?” I wanted to tell them it was an archaic, seven-syllable monstrosity of French origin, spoken rarely since the 17th century.

But, no. It was freakin’ GORILLA. And I was too embarrassed to tell them.

To this day, misspellings haunt me — especially the G-word. I still flinch whenever I see or hear it. Those three syllables and seven letters are burned into my brain forever.

So yeah. Weasels. Me don’t like ‘em.